It ain’t easy being Indian... But disclaiming is

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By Ricey Wild
News From Indian Country 4-09

I roll my eyes. I laugh heartily, and openmouthed. I give in to hysterical pleasure when people make complete and utter fools of themselves.

I also give respect to most non-idiots where respect is due, and bow deeply in devout irreverence to all Gods and non-Gods. Are we clear on that or do I need to pontificate further? Aw-ight then.

The following is a column dedicated to disclaiming anything my publishers have perhaps unwittingly printed in the past ten years where I may have unconciously and/or unintentionally offended the odd, myriad person(s), now and way back then.

I know who you are.

My bad. So sorry. Wah. Sniff! Honk! Do accept my most sincere and humble apologies. (me dabbing at croc tears).

I have a life-experience opinion that is mine alone and does not in any way reflect the views of this newspaper or its very awesomely hot, good-looking and intelligent staff, editors and publishers. Nope. They await my column monthly with concern and trepidation, but thats just if I get it in on time.

And criticize? They are the lone heroes on the first line of defense to protect you, the defenseless reader, from me, from my painfully honest and subjectual column about how it is so not easy to be Indian... sigh! (not the dot Indians, us Arrows!)

So far I guess yer on yer own. As far as reading it or not, which I really hope you do do, even if you don’t agree with me. I have never said that “I am right and anybody who disagrees with me is wrong.” Of course I would disagree with that but hay! Thats MY opinion.

Lucky for us we live in the United States of America, where a brownish dude runs not just our magnificent country, but is also the leader of the free world. Word.

 

Ahem! Back to my disclaimer. So here is me, Mz (Ree) Wild, a woman from a Native Nation who has something to say and whom sez it loudly, clearly and without shame or reluctance. I have a voice and I’m gonna use it until I am so outta this life but then I kinda sorta wish that a few of my words, my hopes and fears will live on in cyberspace. As long as our descendants have electricity that is. Or perhaps I should begin carving or painting my ideas in stone. It’s the only thing that lasts.

So here it is, my authoritorical columnese disclaimer:

I say what I say when I think it. Then I write it down. I totally get that not everyone has a similar or sympathetic view like this peculiar Native woman, and I... well, for me that is what the purpose of this column is.

To present another perspective that in the MSM, has not only overlooked but culturally dissed. So allow me my squeak, willya?

Whether you agree with me or not, I welcome your letters and opinions. They are my mac and sweet cheddar commod cheese. My email is valid and if you wanna talk to me or scold me, you see my email addy at the end of this column, ennit? Do not, and  I repeat DO NOT call my editors and incoherently bitch about me unless you have the courage to leave your name, address, email, PIN and social security number.

If not? Then do please “splain yerself Lucy.” I ain’t that hard to find. I’m right here, waiting for you. Lets have a debate, a gentle discussion or a yell show, then maybe one or both of us will learn something.

I will still listen to the very articulate, intelligent and lucid voices in my head whom assure me that I am right, to write, and that I should write on! What you got?

In other news, the legendary and soon to be iconic fictional character Moosie has returned to Rezberry. He made quite the unexpected spectacular appearance and unintentially earned a lot of paper cash while he did it. This man is so fine he can’t help but get paid.

He was like, swabbed, mooned and CSI identified by his cheek prints. That’s what the FBI has on him anyways. So far. Check in later for Moosie’s latest hot capers, like in Indian time, whenever that is.

The whole point of this peculiar column is this: worship me. Just kidding of course. Just saying, yanno?  It’s just that I worship yooz, just for being you. Much love. If anyone has had an experience that has been easy being Indian, I do wanna hear from you. Of course that means all of us, you be the judge.

I am, yer Mz Wild aka This email address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it..

 

 

 

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