Thank God the elections are over they have kept us divided for too long !

By John Christian Hopkins

Thank God the elections are over and this country can get away from the red state-vs.-blue state, us-vs.-them mentality that has kept us divided for too long.

We need a new spirit of cooperation, a reminder of just what makes America great. That’s why I am introducing a new national award to Americans that go above and beyond in demonstrating this country’s greatness.

Let’s call it the American Success Story.

Or A.S.S., for short.

Not everyone can be an A.S.S., it takes a certain gravitas – whatever that word means. But when fame calls, some rise to the occasion and others sink faster than your retirement savings.

Our first A.S.S. is a no-brainer; it’s our good friend Joe the Plumber.

Okay, so technically he’s not a plumber, and his name isn’t Joe; but the first rule of thumb for being an A.S.S. is to never let the truth stand in the way of your big moment.

Don’t blame Joe the Plumber, after all heroes have often accepted accolades that they didn’t rightly deserve. Look at Babe Ruth; sure he was a great baseball slugger, but was the Sultan of Swat really a babe? Have you seen those spindly legs and beer keg belly? Sorry, but the Babe was no babe.

And his name wasn’t even Babe. But Babe Ruth has a certain ring to it, a flair that escapes George Ruth.

So let’s cut Joe some slack.

Now, first off, taking advantage of an opportunity is as American as apple pie.

A person never knows when that big break will come along, so you have to be ready to pounce at any moment.

Now, what do we know about Joe? He’s not a socialist. He’s not a plumber. He’s not even Joe.

But why should that prevent him from cashing in on his moment in the sun? Stories abound that he has hired a publicity agent, is planning a book and might record a country music album.

Heck, no one even knows if he can sing or write! But squeezing every dollar you can out of a freakish moment of notoriety is capitalism at its best; and all’s fair when you’re trying to become a big A.S.S.

That ain’t bad, folks.

Joe went from being a non-Joe, non-plumber to a quasi-celebrity almost overnight. And in doing so, has gained street cred over the whole higher tax issue that started his meteoric ascension.

He confronted Barack Obama about his plan to increase taxes on people making more than $250,000 a year. Now, at the time, Joe wasn’t close to earning that, so you wonder why he cared that much at all. But now, he almost certainly will be in that higher income category and his question suddenly has merit.

Why should Joe the Plumber have to pay higher taxes than Betty the Hooker or Sam the Drug Dealer? They can make all the money they want, and not even pay any taxes, while our poor friend faux-Joe has had to work his whole life to become a fictitious plumber and now watch extra tax dollars go down the drain.

For standing up for what he believes in – and being smart enough to take advantage when opportunity knocked – we congratulate Joe the Plumber for making a real A.S.S. out of himself.

 

 

 

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